It was cold outside today. I wanted your arms around me to feel warmth again. I walk alone here everyday, when I used to walk beside you without even thinking much about it. Sitting doing my homework but occasionally my mind unconsciously wanders with just the thought of you. I just miss you.

My dad

"Stay healthy physically and spiritually.  I am not that young anymore and my health is deteriorating.  I sometimes feel giving up, but only  feel better when I think about you and your future.  I am very tired of people not thinking about all my sacrifices and people being sarcastic.  I am not giving up for you Gerlyn and I know someday when I am gone, dad is always in your heart…. This is the most important thing in this world for me… that once the Lord let me be your father and gave you as my daughter.  You will have your own life someday…. Your own family and dad will not be here anymore, but always remember wherever I go you are here in my heart and my mind all the time."
 

"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand." -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

ALRIGHT ALL-NIGHTER STARTS NOW!

Happy Birthday Zac Efron :)

Nothings going to bring me down.

Haha :)

It's Friday!

Today is Friday! I definitely started my day at six in the morning. When to my Marketing class at eight. I swear I live off of coffee now, its my drug. So I get coffee so I can stay awake in my four hour class. It may seem as a four hour class is the most boringest (if that is a word, lol) time of your life, however I don't feel that way at all with my classes. I am very happy about all my classes and I am actually able to enjoy school and know that I am at the beginning of my career. Today I asked the teacher a question about a project, and I could feel that he sees potential in me with this field of work. I felt good about myself knowing that I do enjoy listening and learning about the lectures. I feel as if this is my calling. I may need to work super duper hard at it, but in the end it'd pay off.

Anywhos, after class I knocked out. Then one of my friend's Karie called me. I was so glad to hear from her since I wasn't able to see her off at the airport. The thing is we are so much alike and she is a sister to me. We talked for a while and it was so easy to just talk to her. She can relate to me in so many ways, especially because we are in similar situations. She has been through a lot and I am proud of her for what she has been through. I told her that this whole thing with the moving and school is not the easiest thing in the world. We just talked about how all we need is someone close to be there. It was such a relief that I wasnt the only I knew who was going through this. Karie said she is transferring to Seattle soon and I'm so overly excited! This girl has been there for me since the 9th grade and I'm so glad to have a friend like her. Even though were far away, we still keep in contact. I've realized that I have a lot of friends far away, but when we all come together its just like old times.

I'm grateful for the people I can trust in my life. I am blessed to have the best people in my life.

Btw, blah its Friday and I'm in my apartment! Homework, yay I love my life.

Emotions -Destiny's Child

Photoshoot: Marisa and me!

She calls me "Ate" :)

New Day

I feel good. I was productive today with my school work, I went to class only surviving off of a minimum amount of sleep. Enjoyed my Business Fundamentals class. You know, the people are so nice over here. This is honestly my start over point. No one knows who I am, people don't know where I came from, or anything about me. I'm actually glad, I have that opportunity to prove to myself and everyone else out there, that I have potential in this business and live a successful future. It all starts and ends with me, I'm the one who made it happen. Hard work will pay off, its not all play anymore. Get priorities straight, think about what is going to make or break you.

I was heading in the right track to turn negative into positive, I succeeded. Looking at things in a positive light is the only way I'm going to get through. I'm going to win as corny as that sounds, I won't let myself down. Never will I let myself get to my lowest point. And if ever I do, I will pick myself up and remind myself that I have so much to offer rather than not taking any action what so ever.

Blahhhh, I need more days like this, where I'm motivated and positive. And I'm planning to keep it this way.

I need help myself before anyone else. It'll help me become better with myself. I need to glue myself together with the stronger glue to keep me together. I am not getting any younger so this is the time for me to understand me and be better because I am a good person with a good heart. I know I am beautiful inside and out. But most importantly I rather be beautiful inside.

So after class, I was in need of shopping. So I did a little at Nordstroms. I felt I needed to be good to myself since I haven't been feeling myself lately. I'm going to be better to myself. Its true buying clothes make you feel good. I'm actually reading about it in my Marketing class. Well, I definitely needed something to satisfy me and put me in a good mood. This was me today, let's take the negative and throw it in the trash where it needs to be. And smile, because I can.

This is the place...

This is the place where I can vent. This is the only place I will speak the words that wander my mind. No more Tumblr, I'm done with that. This is where I will be the only one to reflect my feelings and get a better understanding of myself with the trials and errors I'm going through in my life. I'll write, I'll post things, but all in all this is one of my releases of tension of my mind. Yes I am aware of that I won't be in contact with a lot of people, but if you are an important person in my life, I'm one call away and vice versa. As you can tell I'm posting up many things already. This is just how I am when I'm feeling this certain way. I just want to shy away from the universe and show what I am capable of with my perseverance and patience.

Trying Times -Boyz II Men

Baby I'm so glad you're here
'Cause I have so many thing to tell you
So many things to talk to you about
'Cause your the strength I hold onto
And I hope I'm the strength that you hold onto
So we can strive together and be perfect
Til' death do us part


The nights gone the morning's here
And soon it's time to talk about
Where we stand and where we plan
To be in life long years I need to know
I keep crying tears of joy
I guess that's why you're put here for
To change these tears of pain
To tears of happiness


Chorus:
Through the trying times
Trying to get the best of me
I'm still finding time to show I care
With my crying eyes
I see contentment because of you


Trials and tribulations build up walls
In front of faces made of stone
Yet we stand strong enough
To break the walls down to journey on
But I know if we just bond our hearts
There will be nothing that will stand in our way
And we'll be together forever and a day

What If- 112
This is a good song, its been on repeat.
It has a good beat.

No more crying, no more feeling sad. I'm better than what I've been doing to myself lately. I just need to adjust. I left home for a reason to get a degree and have a career. Everything is happening all at once, but I need to take one thing at a time. I know I will be okay. Its not the end.

I feel as if I care too much about people. Why do I put myself in that position? I don't understand why I am the way I am. Because I'm tired of playing nice girl finishes last.

I'm just not going to take anything seriously anymore, and see how it feels

I hate the feeling of not being content.

Stop worrying about things that are not necessary. Get my head straight and focus.